2017

Finding Myself, Again

10:00 AM

This post is specially written about a story of how I find myself, again.

--

I, a woman who still knows nothing about how life works, have a story on how I found myself. My own self.

Not many people know about this but in the past days, I always obey people and try to please people that it ended up ruining me. I have been always be in pain. Not only from sickness, but also from other things. I got lots and lots of emotional damage in my life. Bullied, betrayed, abused, and also emotionally hurt; by words and actions.

I thought I was so damaged that I've created "my other self ", making me into a double personality or bipolar person.

She is a strong woman, a tough one. I never really know her existence until recently when I'm having a personality difficulty. I need to find myself. I know, deep inside my consciousness, that she will always protect me in any situation. She knows no fear. Pain makes her stronger. I was always been weak that people are enjoying hurting me because I don't speak up. And every time someone hurt me, she gets stronger and build the wall that is unbreakable. That's how I lived for all these years.

Until one day, something happened to me.

I.. met her.

I just realized how different she is from me. How strong she have become. I didn't realized it myself that I also grow stronger, together with her. And day by day, we're emerging into one whole new individual... Me. I can't believe that this persona that I created, helped me become who I am today.

I am her, she is me.

From that day on, every artwork that I make, every story that I tell..
It was always about our story.

--



Model // Ida & Nicole


2015

It's TIME!

1:05 PM

January 1st, 2016.
Let's have some recap on what happened to me in 2015.

1. Another conference to attend. This time, much more memorable.






☑ First time got invited to dinner with the Professors and researchers
☑ Got more new ACADEMIC friends


2. Solo travelling to Japan (the country I included in my bucket list and I TRULY LOVE). More photos and stories here.




☑ wanderlust-ing


3. Cut my hair short, then turned it to pink purple color.



☑ pink purple hair

4. Published my very first collection in LINE DECO as an artist.


5. Produced 2 personal lyrical artworks.

Once Upon a Dream
Wishing You Were Somehow Here Again
6. 1st THESIS DEFENSE! My Master degree ends soon. It was so fast, 2 years past too quick. Sorry, no picture.

7. And, a lot of personal life things going on. Up and Down.

---

Finally, I can leave 2015 with no regrets. The year of suffering has come to an end.


 IT'S TIME!

for this BLACK BUTTERFLY to show her beautiful wings and fly away.


2014

LALALAND // SPRING 2014

8:54 AM





- Portraits -






PAR // Natalia Pek
Talents // Yvonne Won & Therese Isabelle Vega

Taken in Busan, South Korea

Spring © 2014

--

YAY! Finally it's SPRIIIING!
It's been a month (or more) since I arrived back here in Busan. Don't ask about my study, let's leave it first. Quite annoying actually that the weather is still cold and we need to layered up but it's SPRING already?! Oh God. I feel like wanted to go back to my hometown since it's hot there (even though I also can't stand of the humidity). Urgh. 

So! I went to the Jinhae Spring Festival for the second time and it's still A LOT of people came there. Not so enjoyable since we're going in a such big groups with all the international people and it's super crowded so.. what do you expected? HAHA! HOWEVER, this time, I managed to catch the sakura's petal! YAY! 

P.S. Do you know there's a myth that if you catch the petal when it fell down, you'll get into a relationship here (in Korea)? Well believe it or not but I caught it anyway.

2013

Late Night Tales #3 - As The Stars Fall

2:30 PM



Late Night Tales #3 - As The Stars Fall

When the stars fall from the sky
When the world cannot make me cry
That's when the scales will fall from your eyes

And let you see the truth


Photography: Natalia Pek
Talent: Michelle Ng

--

For the first time, in my life, I took pictures in a dark room. No natural lights, just candles. It's thrilling actually because I'm afraid that it will turned out ALL bluuuuryy. Luckily it turned out great. Fyuuh..

More pictures of this part:



2013

Late Night Tales #2 - Time and Space

8:46 AM



Late Night Tales #2 - Time and Space

Photography: Natalia Pek
Talent: Michelle Ng

My brain was stuck, finding a great idea for this one. Honestly, I can't think of anything to interpret this one. But then on set, I got some ideas that might be suitable for Time and Space. It turns out a little bit Alice-like but whatever. It still fits, right? It's kinda witch-look-alike with the hat and the black dress but it's what witch do, isn't it? They travel time, manipulated time, and going through 'space' or I should call it as portal. I guess I watched Harry Potter too much =="

2013

Late Night Tales #1 - The Arrival of the Birds and Transformation

11:10 AM



Late Night Tales #1 - The Arrival of the Birds and Transformation

Photography: Natalia Pek
Talent: Michelle Ng


To begin the series, I want to do it in mysterious way. Seriously, I put so much effort and dedication into this. Those cranes, can't you see it? I made them all. HAHA. Not to brag but yeah.. I searched through Google how to make those origami. I thought it was hard to make until I made it myself. It was pretty easy but mine was not too tidy. Whatever lah.

'The Arrival of the Birds and Transformation' is a soundtrack of Disneynature's documentary film, The Crimson Wing: Mystery of the Flamingos. It's an instrumental piece by the mighty The Cinematic Orchestra. If you want to know the song, go here. It was so tranquil and I can imagine the birds fly across the sky. OMG so beautiful.

Actually there's more pictures on this one.




Now I know how suffering those people who make thousands of cranes, just to make a wish. Oh my..

2013

LATE NIGHT TALES

1:06 PM



After having a hiatus, I decided to do another personal project. I always wanted to do something that is based on something as the inspiration. But since I have no time and been doing something else, I have to endure it. Then my illustrator best friends, Renata and Evan, both of them often creating song-inspired art works. How can I not be jealous of what they do? HAHAHA, sorry guys. I really envy them. 

So, you guys might known or heard of 'The Cinematic Orchestra' or have you? One of their song was featured in the STEP UP 4 (?), 'To Build A Home', the one that is used by the main girl character to dance her contemporary piece. If you see it, then I guess you know the song. Since I heard that song, I was in love with the band. I don't know why, but when I first heard the song, I feel like... 'home'. It has this.. umm... sincere melodies and so magical. From that on, I really wanted to make a photography piece based on their songs. And here it is.

'LATE NIGHT TALES' is one of their album titles and I will put some of their songs in this series. 

Do wait for it because it's gonna be a liiiittle different than what I used to do :)

Ciao~

2013

BUTTERFLY

10:51 PM

BONJOUR!

how's your day lately?
It's been a long time since i updated this blog. i'm sorry :(

well, here i am now.
i just want to say a few things (so it looks like i updated the blog. HAHA)

OK. here it goes.
currently i'm busy working on my book.
yes, it's a personal book.
well, maybe i will sell it or maybe not :p
i'm not sure if anyone would interested
however, this REALLY takes time and i hope that people would enjoy the book.

I think i've mentioned it earlier about the title, have I?
It's called

PSYCHROMÉ

sounds weird to you?
well, if you have the book, you'll get it. HAHA.

so, umm...
I guess that's all?

maybe these 2 images can help you imagine what's in the book.




see you later then!
xx

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